You might have noticed that I did not post blogs as often as I did in previous weeks this week. I was having a very difficult week emotion-wise. It is as if all the emotions that I was meant to have when I came back to work caught up with me and hit me in one go.
It felt very similar to how I was feeling when I had a post-natal depression after Alexei. However, Matthew is now seven months old, so I do not know if I can still call it post-natal depression if it happens this far in.
I feel fine most of the time, but then something happens or someone says something and a dark cloud descends. I am also feeling very emotional even talking about my kids.
I had a very tough week last week at work and was very hard on myself on not getting as many results as the rest of the people have. Thankfully, my very kind boss (while I was having a meltdown (my very first one….embarrassed sigh…) pointed out that I am only back a month and should not be expecting to achieve as much as the rest have done in the last 6 months that I was gone.
It is also becoming very difficult to leave my kiddies in the morning and I feel guilty every single morning when I say goodbye (basically having a parental separation anxiety). I feel like I have already missed so many firsts with Matthew… Alexei still can’t understand why I am gone so much…
So basically, it is just very hard and I have no idea how other mummies do it.
Hope you are all having a good day.