You might have noticed that I did not post blogs as often as I did in previous weeks this week. I was having a very difficult week emotion-wise. It is as if all the emotions that I was meant to have when I came back to work caught up with me and hit me in one go.
It felt very similar to how I was feeling when I had a post-natal depression after Alexei. However, Matthew is now seven months old, so I do not know if I can still call it post-natal depression if it happens this far in.
I feel fine most of the time, but then something happens or someone says something and a dark cloud descends. I am also feeling very emotional even talking about my kids.
I had a very tough week last week at work and was very hard on myself on not getting as many results as the rest of the people have. Thankfully, my very kind boss (while I was having a meltdown (my very first one….embarrassed sigh…) pointed out that I am only back a month and should not be expecting to achieve as much as the rest have done in the last 6 months that I was gone.
It is also becoming very difficult to leave my kiddies in the morning and I feel guilty every single morning when I say goodbye (basically having a parental separation anxiety). I feel like I have already missed so many firsts with Matthew… Alexei still can’t understand why I am gone so much…
So basically, it is just very hard and I have no idea how other mummies do it.
Hope you are all having a good day.
Categories: Mommy blog
You should ask your doctor for a list of resources or support groups. I got postpartum depression when my son was 15 months old. It’s rare but it happens. Sending lots of love your way mama ♡♡ just know you’re not alone
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I can honestly say I was ready to go back to work when I did – I needed a bit of grown up time! I’m lucky to be able to work part time, though, and I went back to work when the kids were a few months older. I’m glad your boss is being understanding, do what you need to do to feel better x
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My GP has just diagnosed me with postnatal depression and my son is 16months old. I had been saying the same thing, that it’s too far in to call it that, but he assured me that it wasn’t. Apparently there is no fixed time span and so it’s best to seek help as soon as you feel you need it. I’ve been back at work since Jan full time – it’s so exhausting. xx
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Thank you Katie, I don’t feel so alone in how I am feeling any more. It did get easier, even though even now after spending a week with my boys I was dreading going back to work and it is not because I do not like it, I actually love my job, it is the knowledge that all I will get with my boys area couple of hours a day…